A New Kind Of Invader
by Angia101
Summary: What happens when a certain someone enters the world of Invader Zim! *hint hint wink wink*  Might have a bit of ZATR later on...  Rated T to be safe...  I don't know how weird my crazy mind will get...
1. This is a chapter Yes it is

**Ok, to those of you who read my Alice In Wonderland fanfics, I'm reeeeaaaallllyyyy sorry about posting this before I update those, but I _had _to write this! It was making my brain rot, just sitting in there. I promise I will update on those... I have a plan!...**

**Ok, not really... I don't have a plan... I'm just trying to keep up on the stuff I started whilst surviving being a teenager... Schools bugging me... Between being a fangirl of many different things, homework, writing, having a life for once, and being myself, I'm driving myself crazy... It stresses me out so much, I have nightmares about it... And many tragedies have happened between now and the last time I've updated on a story... Just a few: I've gotten sick, my best friends have been fighting, another one of my best friend's kitten died, and my dog became severely ill... I've also had a huuuuge Alice In Wonderland writer's block...**

**Anyways, enough with my ranting and pleading for my life, I read this over a lot, and I'm pretty sure I haven't made any other mistakes... **

**I don't own Invader Zim, or the characters, or the creepy, run-down world they live in... Jhonen Vasquez does...**

**Anyways, enjoy!**

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The light. It's blindingly bright to the recently opened eyes. Dib's eyes adjust to the sun's rays peeking through his window. "Rather bright for a winter morning." he whispers to himself. His eyes shift to his alarm clock. Skool doesn't start for another hour. Dib shuffles over to his closet and gets dressed. He's been dreading the day skool starts again. It had been a rather short winter vacation. It rarely snowed, and a lot of people had sighed and blamed it on Global Warming. _Another thing to wonder about once I'm finished with that horrible Irken_, Dib thought. Sure, Global Warming wasn't paranormal, but a lot of people debate about it, so why not try to find out if it's as bad as everyone says it is?

The few days it had snowed, Dib rather enjoyed watching Zim's reaction to snow. Snow is just another form of water, of course. After his slow, almost-a-walk to the kitchen, Dib poured himself a bowl of cereal and started eating it lethargically. After his first few bites, Gaz walks in, playing her precious Game Slave, of course. She slides into a seat and continues playing. Dib looks up at her and raises an eyebrow. Gaz slowly opens her eyes and glares into her older brother's. Dib quickly averts his eyes and looks back into his cereal bowl. "It's kinda weird how you can play that thing without even looking." he says.

"It's kinda weird how your neck can even support your big head." Gaz retorts. Dib decides to ignore that comment. He's gotten a bit used to people always making fun of his head. _It may be big, but it's full of knowledge, _he thinks. "Has dad left yet?" he changes the subject. Gaz shakes her head. "How should I know? I just woke up, smart one." she growls. "He never even came home, he stayed at the lab all night. Again." she sighs. Dib stirs his spoon around in the bowl. "I wonder what he's working on now?" he says. Gaz almost chuckles. "Probably something better than Super-Toast, or just another invention to 'help' the world." she says.

Dib finishes his cereal. He looks over at his little sister. "You're not eating?" he asks. Gaz shakes her head. "Don't feel like it." she sighs, as she leans her head closer to her Game Slave. Dib rolls his eyes. "Do you play that while sleeping?" he raises an eyebrow. Gaz clenches her game tighter. "Just shut up before I go make toast just to throw the butter knife at you." she threatens. Dib puts his dishes in the sink and heads toward the bathroom.

He quickly combs his naturally spiky hair and washes his face. Before he can get to brushing his teeth, he hears his little sister's blood-curdling scream. "! YOU IDIOOOOOOOOOOOT! GET UP HERE BEFORE I MURDER YOU!" she yells. Dib rushes upstairs to the source of his scary sister's screaming, going the fastest he has ever gone in the past week. "WHAT?" Dib shouts. Gaz points a Grim Reaper-like finger at the sink. "Your dishes, Dib. YOUR DISHES! Dad's almost never home, so taking care of your dishes is YOUR responsibility. Next time you don't do your dishes, I WILL SHOVE YOUR DISHES INTO YOUR HUGE HEAD UNTIL THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE! NOW GET TO IT!" she commands. Dib rushes to the sink and quickly washes the dishes, glancing back and forth from the dishes, to his malicious little sister, who is glaring at him the whole time. He shows Gaz his clean dishes, begging in his mind that he'll live. Gaz shuffles over to the sink and stares at the dishes. She gives a small nod and walks off.

Once Gaz leaves the room, Dib sighs. "I think there should be a Mysterious Mysteries special on my sister." he pants. He puts the dishes in the drying rack, then makes his way back to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"GIR! Where are my lenses? Skool's going to start soon! FIND THEM!" Zim shouts throughout his home/base. GIR walks in, a lens hanging from his tongue. Zim's eyes widen. "GIR! Now I have to disinfect the lens, due to your human-food eating tongue, you incompetent fool!" he says, swiping the lens from GIR's tongue, a string of drool following with the lens. "Eww…" he mutters. "Why are you in your disguise, anyway?" he asks. GIR smiles. "I want to go to skooool with yoooou!" he laughs. Zim shakes his head. "No, GIR, these Earth beasts don't take their dogs to skool." he says. "Aww." GIR sighs. After Zim grabs the other lens from the ground, he goes to clean the lenses. "But I want to go to skool with you, master!" GIR whines. Zim turns around and puts the lenses on. "I'll tell you what, you can walk to skool with me." he says. GIR waves his arms around happily.

The two foreigners step outside into their yard. "Yeep! It's cold!" Zim yelps. GIR looks over at Zim. "No it's not!" he counters. Zim sighs. "It better not 'snow' again. I'm almost paranoid to step outside again. The weather here is either scorching hot, or raining of some sort! I can't wait to bring the hy-uu-mans to their doom!" he says. GIR starts murmuring his Doom Song. "GIR! Shut up!" Zim commands. GIR's duty mode voice activates. "Yes, master!" he salutes. People stare at them. Zim's eyes widen. "Uh… Heh heh… New trick." he says. People go back to what they were doing. "GIR, please don't talk when you're supposed to be an earth dog." Zim says blankly. GIR smiles.

Dib runs up behind Zim. "Hello, Zim." he smiles mischievously. Zim turns around abruptly. "Dib!" he growls. "GIR!" GIR shouts, smiling. Zim and Dib glare at GIR. "Why are you here?" Zim asks. Dib rolls his eyes. "I'm walking to skool, Zim. Skool starts again today, remember?" Dib asks sarcastically. Zim shakes his fist. "I knew that, Dib-stink! I mean what are you doing walking near me?" he mutters. Dib smiles nonchalantly. "Oh… I don't know… Waiting to watch you mess up. To catch you off guard and expose the truth to the world! THE WOOOORRRLLLD! Same as always." he says. Gaz appears behind Dib, still playing her game. "You guys are idiots." she says, then walks further ahead.

"Get away, now." Zim demands. Dib shrugs. "Whatever," he starts, then stops in front of Zim. He leans in towards his face. "Just remember… If you screw up, even by the slightest bit… I'll catch it… And it'll be a one-way ticket to the autopsy room for you, Zim, where they'll slice you open and tear out your alien guts. And I'll be there to watch, and laugh victoriously, and-"

"Are you done yet?" Zim asks, then pushes Dib out of his way. Dib growls. "You won't get away with this, Zim! I WILL CATCH YOU!" he screams.


	2. The Invasion Begins

**Ok, I got chapter 2 done... It was fun...**

**Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez**

**My new little addition for the rest of the story belongs to God, and me ^^**

**Oh, and I need to mention this... In the show, Tak sat behind Dib... To make the story line go along, let's just say that Tak and Dib talked to each other too much, and Ms. Bitters got irritated with it... She didn't feel like sending Dib to the "Underground Classroom" because Dib is her smartest student, (Had to do something good for Dibbers), and so on Tak's second day, she had to switch seats with someone who sat in the middle of the classroom... Ok, had to get that out, I didn't feel like confusing people...**

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As soon as Dib sits down in his seat, the bell rings. Dib sends glares to Zim, in which Zim returns the favor. "Alright class, because the school board makes me say this, 'I hope you had a wonderful winter vacation,' because as of now, you are condemned to my class for the rest of the school year. Now I want you to write a seven page essay on how your vacation was, NOW!" Ms. Bitters commands. Dib raises his hand. Ms. Bitters sighs. "What, Dib?" she growls. Dib gulps. "Why seven pages?" he asks. Ms. Bitters glares at Dib. "Because I want to!" she yells. Ms. Bitters glides to her desk and slumps into the seat. Then the phone rings.

"Hello?" Ms. Bitters answers. "Not another one!… Mmhmm… Mmhmm… Well, alright… Send it in… Whatever." she mutters. She slams the phone down and looks up. "Did I say stop?" she yells. Everyone goes back to their writing. There's a knock on the door. Ms. Bitters glides over to it and opens it. A girl with dark brown hair and green eyes walks in. She's slightly taller than the other students, but not too tall. Ms. Bitters and the girl exchange a whispered conversation. "Class," Ms. Bitters starts. The students look up. Zim eyes the girl carefully. "This is Mel, she's a transfer student from the high skool. They didn't want her. Make her feel welcome. And, Dib, don't talk to her." she frowns at him. Dib opens his mouth to speak. "Why can't he talk to me?" Mel asks. Ms. Bitters chuckles. "He's crazy." she says. Mel smiles. "I think we might get along well, then."

Zim leaps from his seat and tackles the new girl. "WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT IS YOUR MISSION?" he demands. Mel blinks. "Dude, back off." she says and gently pushes Zim away. Zim slips back into his seat. "Mel, why don't you take a seat over there." says the creepy old teacher, pointing to the desk where Tak once sat. Mel walks over there and sits down. All eyes are on her. She coughs softly, feeling awkward. Everyone goes back to their work.

"Nice one, Zim." says Dib sarcastically. Zim growls. "Back to work, you two!" Ms. Bitters snaps. Mel raises her hand. Ms. Bitters rolls her eyes and calls on her. "Excuse me, what exactly is the assignment?" Mel asks. Ms. Bitters doesn't reply, but glides back to her seat. Mel has a confused look on her face. She pulls out a pencil and a piece of paper and sits there. After a few minutes, a piece of crumpled up paper hit's her head. She looks around.

Dib waves. Mel blinks, then waves back. He makes gestures to read the paper, and so she unfolds it and does so.

_Seven page essay on winter vacation. DO IT BEFORE MS. BITTERS NOTICES YOU'RE JUST SITTING THERE!_

_- Dib_

Mel nods to thank him, and then starts scratching away on her paper. Zim keeps glaring at her. "ZIM!" Ms. Bitters snaps. "Why aren't you doing your work!" she growls. Zim quickly goes back to writing. Dib snickers.

Two hours pass by. Mel puts her pencil down and holds her throbbing hand. Ms. Bitters appears at Mel's desk and snatches her essay. Everyone else is finished, except Zim. He raises his hand. "What is it this time, Zim?" Ms. Bitters sighs. Zim clears his throat. "Um, yes, can we finish this as homework?" he asks. "You'll have time after lunch." she says. Then, the bell rings, dismissing them for lunch. All the students run out the door.

Mel then leaves, and wanders the halls, searching for the lunchroom, since everyone else has zipped towards it. She comes across Zim, walking lethargically down the hall. She catches up to him. "Excuse me," she starts. He turns to face her, then scowls. "What?" he asks harshly. She ignores his tone. "Is it okay if I follow you to the lunchroo-" she starts to ask. "LIES!" Zim cuts her off. She blinks. "I was asking a question!" she exclaims. "No, I am not an alien! This is a skin condition!" he shrieks. She blinks again. "I never said you were." she says, confused. It is Zim who blinks this time. "Oh." he mumbles. "Ok, what was it again?" he asks.

She sighs. "Ok, may I follow you to the lunchroom?" she finally asks. He takes a few seconds to consider this, then sighs. "FINE. But I don't like you." he says. She has a bored expression on her face. "Oh, how lovely." she says sarcastically. They continue to walk to the cafeteria, and Zim keeps glaring at her again. "So… Tell me this… Why doesn't the high skool want you?" he asks. She growls. "I don't know, but it's stupid! I've had to abandon my best friends." she frowns. Zim stops glaring at her. "Okay, but I still don't like you." he says. Mel says nothing. "Why are you a bit taller than us?" he asks. Mel gives him a look. "Uh, because I'm a bit older, and I've grown a lot in the past few months… You will too, maybe." she explains. Zim's face lightens up. "You mean one day, I may be one of the Tallest!" he squeals. Mel blinks again. "Sure?" she squeaks.

They arrive at the lunchroom. "You may sit next to me." Zim says as they enter the line. Mel raises an eyebrow. "Okay… I thought you hated me.?" she asks. Zim's eyes widen. "Um, sort of… But I hate everyone here… You just make me suspicious." he explains. "Suspicious." she mouths to herself.

They pass through the line and get their "food." As they head towards a table, Dib comes up from behind them. He leans against a table. "Hey." he says to Mel. She blinks in response. "How's it going?" he asks. "Um… Ok, I guess…?" she responds, confused. All of the sudden, GIR pops out of nowhere, flying through the air, screaming, "Look at the big-headed boy!, tryin' to be all coool-like!"

"GIR! I thought I told you to stay home!" Zim shouts. GIR squeaks. "Okey dokey!" and then he's gone. Mel blinks from confusion. Dib finds this a good time to finally get to the point. "DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS?" he asks. Mel backs up a step. "I don't know!" she replies. Dib frowns and walks away.

"Foolish Dib-child!" Zim mutters. They sit down. Mel pokes at the food on her tray. She picks up a mysterious slop with her spoon and watches it drip back down to the tray. "I… Don't think this is edible." she says. Zim pokes at his tray, too. "I second that." he adds. Mel slides her tray to the side and lays her head down on the table.

A blond-haired girl sitting at the table next to theirs starts talking to her friends. "That new girl must be stupid… For the high skool not to want her." she snickers. Mel lifts up her head and turns it towards the girl. "You know I can hear you, right? I'm not the stupid one, the school board is." she mutters. The blond girl rolls her eyes. "Then why are you sitting next to that dork, Zim?" she asks. Mel raises an eyebrow. "Because he's alone, too. He needs someone to hang out with." she replies. "You're such a loser." the other girl insults. Mel claps her hands together. "Oh, thank you! One day you'll be one too!" she smiles, then rolls her eyes.

"That was…. Interesting." Zim says. "But you do know being called a 'loser' is an insult, right?" he asks. Mel shrugs. "Yeah, but 'loser' means someone who loses. Losing is failing. If you fail so badly, that's an epic win. My philosophy. So she indirectly called me a winner… But I didn't call her one indirectly, though…" she explains. Zim blinks. "Humans." he mutters under his breath. Mel lies her head back down onto the table.

"Look at them, Gaz! She's sitting with the enemy! After I helped her with the assignment! She says she doesn't believe in aliens, and yet she's sitting right next to one! This is so irritating, Gaz!" Dib complains. Gaz keeps playing her game. "You sure are taking interest in this new girl." she mutters. Dib blinks. "Well… She… I see potential in her… She may be able to see through Zim's façade… If she wasn't too stubborn!" he continues. Gaz shakes her head. "You're stupid." she insults.

"Just wait… I'll be able to get her to believe me. I'm going to sit over there…" he gets up and walks over to the table where the alien and new girl sit. He sits down next to Mel. "Hi." he says. Zim stands on the table and points at Dib. "Get away from here!" he yells. Mel waves at Dib. Dib sits there and glares at Zim. "Just let him sit here." Mel sighs. Zim gasps. "I hate him the most!" he shrieks. Mel starts glaring at Zim, too. Zim blinks. "Fine! But he can't speak to me, and I won't speak to him." he growls.

"So, Mel, how's your day so far?" Dib asks. Mel shrugs. "Ok, I guess. I finished the assignment, which caused my hand to hurt from writing too much, the food isn't edible, the only to people who I actually talk to so far, hate each other, and I need to listen to music. How's yours?" she asks back to him. "Ok." he answers. People start getting up from their seats and emptying their trays. "Where are we going, now?" Mel asks. "Recess." Dib replies. Mel's eyes widen. "Finally, something good out of today!" she smiles. Zim frowns. "Yeeeaaaahhhhh. Fun." he says sarcastically.

As they leave the lunchroom to go to recess, Zim trips Dib. "What was that?" Dib yelps. Zim snickers. "Payback for sitting at my table." he says. Dib slaps Zim. So Zim starts hitting Dib and soon enough they start a fist-fight. Mel backs away slowly. "Please, don't! Not while I'm here, they'll think I'm involved!" she sighs. They don't stop. Mel growls. "My goodness, do I have to BITE you!" she yells. They stop and stare at her. "That's better… Now, Zim, put Dib down and let go of his neck…" - Zim does so - "And Dib, remove your fingernails from Zim's head." Dib releases his death-grip from Zim's forehead, leaving five bleeding cuts. "You're blood is purple." Mel says, unimpressed. "He's an ALIEN!" Dib yells. "Shut up, Earth-boy!" Zim yells back. Mel just stands there. "Zim, you're coming with me." she says, grabbing his hand and dragging him. Dib shrugs and follows them.

"Mel-thatisyournameright?-what are you doing?" Zim cries as Mel opens the door to the bathroom. "But this is the girls' bathroom!" he shrieks. Mel rolls her eyes. "Don't care." she mutters as she picks him up and sets him on the counter. "Stay there and don't move, or else I will hunt you down and eat you…" she says as she goes into a stall and grabs some toilet paper. She comes up to Zim and starts dabbing the tissue at his wounds. "What are you doing?" Dib asks as he enters the bathroom.

"You know you're in the girls' restroom, right Dib-stick?" Zim asks, grinning like an idiot. Dib rolls his eyes. "Shut up." he says. "What does it look like I'm doing? Turning him into a potato? I'm treating his cuts." Mel replies sarcastically. Dib frowns. "I was only asking what you were doing…" he mutters.

"Are you PROUD of yourself, Dib? Are you PROUD to make poor Mel have to waste some of her 'precious' recess time CARING for the wounds YOU gave Zim? I had dreams, Dib. DREAMS! Dreams that didn't involve having YOUR nails dig into my skull and leave… Scars! I can't believe you, Dib-pig! I just can't!" Zim complains melodramatically.

"You make me sick, Zim." Dib growls. Mel rolls her eyes. "Would you two just please shut up? It's your fighting that got you into this mess! And no, Zim, it's not going to leave scars… They're only cuts…" she explains. Dib gets an idea. A mischievous grin slides onto his face. "Hmm… Maybe you should use warm water to help soothe the cuts." he smiles innocently. A look of horror creeps onto Zim's face. "Good idea, Dib." Mel compliments, wetting a paper towel to press against the wounds. Zim starts to scream, but Mel already presses the damp towel to his head. He starts screaming. "THE PAAAIIINNN! OH, THE PAIN! IT BUUUUURRRRNNNNSSSSS! ZIM IS IN PAIN!" he shrieks. Dib laughs so hard he falls to the ground. Mel eyes both the screaming green-skinned kid, and the boy rolling on the floor in a circle, laughing like a maniac. "Imagine how weird this would look to someone who suddenly walks in…" she says out loud.

Zim falls off the counter and lands on Dib. He stops screaming and Dib stops laughing. They stare at each other for a moment. "Get off me, you jerk." Dib mutters, pushing Zim away. Mel face palms herself. "Just… Just go to the nurse, Zim. Yeah… Just… Just go." she says. Dib grins. "Yeah, Zim. Go to the nurse. Where she'll see your unusually colored blood. And I will have VICTORY!" he snickers. Mel blinks. "Wooooow… Just… Oh gosh, just wow. You scare me sometimes, Dib." she says. "ZIM NEEDS NO NURSE! ZIM NEEDS NOOOOOBODY" yeah, you guessed it, screamed Zim. Then Zim walks out of the bathroom, his purple wounds turning into an indigo color, scabs forming.

"Was he dropped on his head when he was younger, or what…?" Mel asks. Dib sighs. "That… Is something to wonder about." he says. Mel shakes her head. "I guess we better go…" she mutters, and gently grabs Dib's arm, pulling him out of the girls' bathroom_._

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**Ok, I hope you enjoyed it so far...**

**I had to end it here because I have an important question to ask you guys who read this before I continue writing...**

**Ok... So I know some people don't like it when self insertion fics pairs the author with a canon character...**

**But I had a couple of people who read this before I posted this said they'd be ok with Mel being in a pairing... (Oh, and since a lot of characters in this show have one syllable names, I reduced my name from Melody, to Mel in this fic)**

**So I want a vote... Whether or not Mel should be in a pairing...**

**I won't make the whole story about the pairing, but it will be a bit obvious..**

**I have a bunch of cute moments planned if you people are okay XDDD**

**Thanks for reading...**


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